Russellings of the Spirit

I have a great family. Mostly.

What I mean is, out of the whole group of three brothers, one sister, four step-sibs and a bushel basket full of cousins and in-laws, there are only one or two I don’t care very much for. But we still get along.

The same goes for my neighbors.

Great neighborhood… wonderful place to live… really outstanding people. The vast majority, that is.

But then there’s that one guy that just… well… let’s just say he is a little “different” and we’ll leave it at that.

What I have noticed recently is that if I widen out the scope of my vision and try to take other groups of people into consideration – you know, groups other than my family and my neighbors – I find that the same rule of thumb applies. I find that most of them are really great people with just a few glaring exceptions.

You might have discovered the same thing in the circles you travel in.

Following on that observation, I am willing to bet it is highly likely that you and I take a very similar approach to dealing with this reality of life. That is to say we try to maximize the amount of time we spend around the people we think well of (the “good people”) and minimize the time we spend with “the others.”

Makes sense really.

I mean, why wouldn’t you?

Because really… who would willingly spend time with or hang out with people that irritate them? Chances are, if THEY irritate YOU, you probably irritate them too. Right?

All well and good. And logical.

There’s just one problem: it is also totally unChristlike. In other words, it is not at all an example of what it means to live in “The World According to Jesus.”

You remember him… the guy who famously (and fairly annoyingly) said, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” (Matthew 5:44, NRSV). But because those irritating people… the people you’ve been avoiding… were just plain aggravating and not really your enemies, you thought you were off the hook. Right?

Sorry.

I think “love your enemies” was meant to include people who just really get under your skin, too. I think it was supposed to include people that – try as you might – you just can’t figure out.

I think it was supposed to include people from that other political party. You know… the one that is SO wrong and SO misguided. I think it was supposed to include the people you and your friends talk about when they aren’t there to defend themselves… silently shaking your heads at how completely CLUELESS some people can be.

I think it was also supposed to include the people who don’t dress appropriately for this restaurant… the people who talk too loudly in the movie theater… who block the aisle in the grocery store while reading texts… who pass along old, stale Facebook memes you’ve seen a thousand times already… who stay in the passing lane FOREVER… who talk and chew their food at the same time… who root for the wrong sports team, and yes… even those so-and-sos who park in handicapped parking spaces without having a handicapped hangtag.

It was definitely supposed to include people who were born in a different country than you, people who have a different skin color than you, people who believe differently than you and people who love differently than you.

Speaking only for myself, I know that I often get too easily hung up on the idea that “loving my neighbor” is the same thing as enthusiastically supporting everything they say or do. Jesus’ own guideline on this can be found in Matthew 22:39 where he says you and I are to, “… love your neighbor as yourself.” So let me ask: do you love yourself absolutely uncritically? Do you willfully turn a blind eye to your character flaws and occasional examples of outrageous behavior?

Probably not.

As C.S. Lewis said in his book, Mere Christianity, “In my most clear-sighted moments… I can look at some of the things I have done with horror and loathing.” And yet, as he goes on to say, he can still love himself. The same principle, I am sure, can be applied to our outlook toward those irritating people in our lives.

I am also reasonably sure that loving them does not need to mean making moon eyes at them, running up and spontaneously hugging them, or writing little love sonnets on pieces of paper and handing it to them.

What I believe it does mean is considering and actively working to increase their overall well-being in the world… even when they don’t recognize you or thank you for it. It means looking with compassion on each person – yes, even the irritating ones – and pledging your heart and energy to be an agent of wholeness in each of those lives… even if it doesn’t change their irritating behavior one iota.

As Mother Teresa once famously said, “People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered. Love them anyway.”

Because after all, the “Love your enemies…” command doesn’t conclude with the words “so that they will…” do such and such.

It just stops. Annoyingly. Right there.

And I think Jesus meant that we should, too.

The man woke up… sat on the edge of his bed… and scratched his head.

“Wow!” he said, to no one in particular. “That was a strange dream. Wonder what it means?”

The man then went through the motions of his morning preparations – shower, shave, clothes, and breakfast – but could not shake the images that visited him during his waking dream.

“Better go ask the wise man about this,” he thought. “He’ll know what it means. He always knows. Guess that’s why we call him ‘the wise man.’”

The Wise Man – known to most of his friends as Fred – could almost always be found at his corner table at the Starbucks down the street. As the man walked in, he saw that sure enough, there was Fred. Sitting in his usual spot, sipping a Café Americano and doing the New York Times crossword puzzle. Because that is what wise people do…

The man sat down. Fred the Wise Man looked up from the paper and smiled. “Good morning, my friend.” He then asked, “What brings you here today?”

“Fred, I had a dream just before I woke up that is really bugging me. I wonder if you can help me understand it.”

“Let’s give it a try,” the wise man said. Of course one of the things that makes wise men wise – and wise women, too – is their ability to recognize that their wisdom has limits.

“In my dream I was just standing there, minding my own business, observing the scene before me. God was there too, a little bit off to the right. Then, a little off to the left a field mouse scampered across the grass. Suddenly a red-tailed hawk swooped down from the sky, talons flashing, ready to grab the mouse and devour it.”

“With you so far,” Fred said, taking another sip from his cup and smiling.

“That’s not the weird part,” said the man. “The weird part is what happened next. They each said something… they each said just one word. I am still trying to figure out what they each meant. That’s what I need your help with. That’s why I’m here.”

“So what did they say?” Fred asked.

“Well, just before it grabbed the mouse, the hawk said, ‘Dinner!’ The mouse looked up with a terrified look on its face and said, ‘DEATH!’ But God just looked on serenely at the whole thing and said, ‘Design.’ And then I woke up!”

“What does it all mean, Fred? And more importantly, does this dream mean I’m crazy?”

The Wise Man took another sip of coffee and chuckled. “No… it doesn’t mean you’re crazy. But your dream is a message to you from deep inside you. And as I read it, it is very important message.”

He continued, “This very intriguing dream you have just described to me is actually an invitation to you from your soul. It is an invitation to stand in a new and different place and to see the world with new and different eyes.”

“Hmmmm,” the man said, thoughtfully. Then after a long pause he shook his head and said, “Sorry, Fred. I’m not tracking with you. Can you say a little more? I mean, I’m sure you are right, but I guess I’m just not smart enough to know what you mean.”

The wise man smiled again and said, “OK. Here’s what I mean; when events take place in our lives, we all rush to label those events as quickly as we can. We have a deep-seated need to call the event “Good” or “Bad”… “Lucky” or “Unlucky” or some variation of words like that.”

“In your dream, the event you witnessed was very good for the hawk. He was about to enjoy a tasty morsel of field mouse. And yet, the exact same event was a total disaster for the mouse. Nothing could possibly have been worse.”

“But you had a third point of view in there, didn’t you? You also had God’s point of view. And from God’s perspective, this scene was neither good nor bad… neither delight nor doom. It was simply God’s script for the world – or God’s design, to use your word – playing itself out exactly as God intended.”

Wise Man Fred continued, “And when I said that your dream was an invitation, what I meant by that was that through your dream, your soul was inviting you to stand in a similar place when it comes to the events of your life.”

The man had been nodding knowingly as Fred spoke… right up until that last sentence. Then his eyebrows knitted together and his head cocked slightly to the side. Again he said, “OK, Fred… you lost me there. What do you mean, ‘stand in a similar place.’ What do you mean? How do I do that?”

Fred said, “Remember Proverbs 3:5-6? If I recall correctly it was always one of your favorite scripture passages, isn’t it? What does it say?”

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths,” the man replied quickly. He knew the passage by heart.

“Exactly!” Fred exclaimed. “Bull’s-eye! Give that man a kewpie doll!”

And at that moment, the light bulb clicked on in the man’s head. In that moment he saw that in his haste to put a label on the events of his life and instantly judge them as Good or Bad, he was – in fact – elevating himself to the place of God. He was making judgments about the events he was not equipped to make… judgments even God himself did not make. And then, as a natural consequence of those judgments, he went on to live with anger, resentment, or pride.

And then he thought back on some of the events of his own life he had called BAD when they happened… that job he lost… the cancer diagnosis from five years ago… the run-in with his next-door neighbor over something silly. Hadn’t each of those actually turned out to be something much less than the utter disaster he anticipated? In fact, hadn’t each of those events actually opened new doors that might not have been opened otherwise?

Hmmmm. Something to ponder, for sure, the man thought.

“Thanks, Fred,” he said. “That helps. I’ll have to go chew on that a bit.” And then he got up, turned, and headed out the door.

When Jesus addressed the topic of judgment in Luke 6:37-38, he was talking about the practice of one person judging another. (“Do not judge, and you will not be judged; do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you.”) Luke 6:37-38, NRSV).

Is it possible, do you think, that he could just as easily have also been talking to us about making hasty judgments about the nature of the events of our lives?

Blessings to you today. Just for fun, let’s see what happens if each of us tries to make this day as much of a “judgment free zone” as we can… toward all of the people and all of the events we might encounter.

AMEN.