Archive for June, 2017

27
Jun
17

The Ear

An earWho do you talk to?

Where do you go?

How do you get it ALL worked out?

It goes without saying: every now and again we each need a listening ear; A non-judging, open, understanding, wise, loving, accepting, no-nonsense ear.

We need an ear (with – ideally – a full person attached to it) that will receive our deepest, most incoherent, most pain-laden, non-linear ramblings… not promising a neat solution or a cure or even complete comprehension of what in the world we are talking about.

An ear that offers only presence… and the encouragement to forge ahead and keep exploring… even when we aren’t sure we know where we are going.

In the best households that ear is what you got from mom and/or dad. And most of the time they were more than willing – delighted, even – to serve in that capacity.

But what if you’re an adult… separated by time and distance from mom and dad?

Well, sometimes you get really lucky – like I did – and you get to fall in love with and even marry that ear. And if that describes you, you know one of the ground rules here is the rule of mutuality… meaning that sometimes the table has to be turned; you have to BE the ear.

Sometimes it turns out that you have to pay by the hour for that ear. And you find out it can be one of the best investments you’ve ever made.

But what if none of that applies?

What if mom and dad are both gone? What if no one has signed on to be your ear… or what if you can’t afford/find a professional ear?

Where do you go? Who do you talk to? What do you do to keep from just cramming all that business deep inside… stuffed deeper and deeper and left to fester and turn toxic?

We see folks trying to enlist social media to play the role of the ear. It allows us to rant and rave and exhort and have the sense that someone, somewhere is paying attention.

Sometimes it helps… often it doesn’t.

You might not be surprised to hear me suggest that there is an ear that is ALWAYS available… that will ALWAYS receive what you have to offer – coherent or not. That will encourage you to go as deep as possible, venturing unafraid into the darkest corners of your heart without fearing what you might find there.

It is the very “ear” who once famously said, “Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (Matthew 11:28-30, NRSV).

He is there… always. He is ready to listen.

He never gets tired. He never rolls his eyes when he hears the same thing for the umpteenth time. He never suggests you should come back later when he is in a better mood.

You will never find a better ear… or a fiercer advocate.

Here’s a caveat: you will also never find anyone less hesitant about challenging you on the faulty assumptions about the world you’re carrying, or the excuses you might be hiding behind, or the useless resentments you’re still hanging on to.

So there’s that…

But LISTENING is the job Jesus signed on to do for you… before you even knew it!

So go to him. He’s waiting to listen.

And it’s all because he loves you more than you can possibly imagine.

 

Abundant blessings;

20
Jun
17

LOVE NOTICES

Happy older driversBut Jesus said, “Someone touched me; for I noticed that power had gone out from me.”

Luke 8:46, NRSV

Have you ever noticed? Jesus notices stuff.

For sure he notices the things that are right there… big as life… smack dab in front of his face… like 99.8% of the rest of us.

But he notices other things, too… things that escape the notice of 99.8% of the rest of us.

Jesus notices people. He notices words. He notices attitudes. He notices the movement of the Spirit as it blows through the world.

And you know what else? He notices YOU! And he knows the joy his noticing brings.

I thought about this the other day when I experienced first-hand the joy of being noticed.

My wife and I were traveling home from a thoroughly delightful afternoon with family. It was the late afternoon hour when the sun was just beginning to set. The temperature was perfect and the air was clear, so the windows of the car were open as we drove. There was some good, bouncy music playing on the radio and we had a pair of satisfied smiles on our faces. (And yes… that is a picture of us there at the top of this post.)

Usually – especially when I am driving – this is not the case. Most of the time when I am the driver of the car and my wife is the passenger, she is nervous and on-edge. Let’s just say she and I have two different driving styles… and for some inexplicable reason my preferred style seems to make her jittery.

HOWEVER… on this day I was really trying to be conservative and cautious as we drove along those familiar streets… braking WELL in advance of the changing stop light… slowing down to allow the gentleman to my left to come on over into this lane of traffic, etc.

I thought to myself, “I wonder if she will notice how sensibly I am driving. And if she does notice it, I wonder if she will SAY anything.”

For a brief moment I considered speaking up… bringing my reformed, prudent driving approach to her attention, just in case she hadn’t really noticed it on her own.

But then, in the very next instant, she DID notice! And she DID say something! And it was genuinely POSITIVE and AFFIRMING… something like, “Honey, you sure are doing a wonderful job behind the wheel there.”

I’m not going to lie… it was AWESOME! A real rush of validation and joy. It also gave me a real incentive to drive the same way the next time we are together.

As I reflected on my experience further, I realized Jesus had the same skill… the skill of noticing the unnoticed… and then COMMENTING on what he had noticed.

The stories of his noticing are legion; Jesus notices the little children the other people are trying to shoo away; he notices that power has gone out of him when the bleeding woman touches the hem of his robe; he notices the man who has been sitting by the pool of Bethsaida for 38 years, waiting to be healed; he notices the blind man by the side of the road; he notices the hypocrisy of the Pharisees; he notices the generosity of the widow bringing her small, insignificant coin to the Temple.

And so many more…

I guess you could say Jesus shows us that loving is noticing.

But as you watch him at work, it seems that the reverse is also true: Jesus also demonstrates his love in the act of NOT noticing.

He intentionally doesn’t notice the hideous condition of the leper’s skin as he reaches out and touches him; he doesn’t notice the lack of education or insight of the fishermen he calls to follow him as disciples; he doesn’t notice the second-class status of the women he chooses to include as partners in his ministry; he doesn’t notice the high social status of the religious officials who seek to discredit him; he doesn’t notice the sins of the woman caught in adultery.

I guess you could also say Jesus shows us that loving is not noticing.

It all makes me wonder: what am I noticing today? What am I NOT noticing?

And maybe more importantly: how are both my noticing and not noticing serving to demonstrate love?

So that’s what is on my heart today…

Thanks for noticing!

 

Abundant blessings;

13
Jun
17

Humble learning

Welcome-to-GI

“… but wisdom is with the humble.”
Proverbs 11:2, NRSV

I learned something this past week.

I learned that Grand Island, Nebraska is actually a pretty cool place.

I learned this as a result of spending three days in Grand Island at the Annual Conference of the Great Plains United Methodist Church.

It was a “command performance” kind of thing… meaning that attendance for me was not optional. Fortunately my wife agreed to go along at the last minute.

And since I am persuaded that this kind of thing is good for the soul, I have a public confession to make: when I first heard about the location of Annual Conference, I was not all that excited about spending three days in the town of Grand Island, Nebraska.

In fact it is possible I even poked a little fun at the notion that the word “island” is part of the name of a town in the state of Nebraska. I may also be guilty of encouraging my friends to wear Hawaiian shirts for each day of the conference… as a celebration of “island life.”

But then we arrived in town. And drove around. And met people and saw sights.

And as a result… I learned! I learned that Grand Island is a wonderful, clean, vigorous, engaging city of 48,000 souls on the plains of south central Nebraska.

(I’m still not entirely sure where the “island” part of the name comes in though.)

In the process of learning these things about Grand Island, I learned another important lesson. I learned something about learning.

Here is what I learned: sometimes learning happens when a vacuum gets filled. For me, there was an empty place in my mind called “the location of Grand Island, Nebraska.” I filled that empty space by looking on a map and finding it… right there off of Interstate 80, about 90 miles straight west of Lincoln, NE.

That’s one kind of learning.

But I learned that there is also another kind!

On some occasions, an unlearning has to happen before new learning is possible. That is because knowledge that is askew or off-base has to be corrected, re-shaped, or removed altogether before it can be replaced by something a little more reflective of reality.

In my case, for example, I first had to unlearn (or “dump,” to be a little more scientific about it) my earlier perceptions about the kind of town Grand Island was before I could replace them with the truer, better, more informed picture.

In thinking about these two kinds of learning, I also discovered that people LOVE the first type (the vacuum-filling type), but are not at all fans of the second type (the one that begins with unlearning).

It may be because the second type of learning requires HUMILITY… the willingness to begin by saying, “You know what… I was wrong about that.”

This is not a sentence that comes easily to my lips. I like to feel as if I have a few things figured out at this fine, ripe age I’ve attained. Retracing and retracting are not actions I rush to embrace.

And yet…

… my sense is that the learning that begins with a humble retraction seems to settle in at a deeper place inside me. It feels somehow “heftier”… a little more like WISDOM or INSIGHT than just information.

That may be what the writer of Proverbs meant by saying that “wisdom is with the humble.”

So then where does that leave us?

It would be hard to argue with the conclusion that the world has rarely had a greater need for wisdom and insight than it has today. At the same time, the world seems to be facing a desperate shortage of humility – the key ingredient of wisdom.

Because after all… when you already have all the answers, why look further or deeper?

Fortunately we have the prophet Micah to remind us what is good. And so, in case you have forgotten what he said, here is that reminder once again: “He has told you, O mortal, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” Micah 6:8, NRSV.

To paraphrase the most interesting man in the world: Stay humble, my friend. Gain wisdom.

Abundant blessings;




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