This soil
This seed
Buried
This crazy idea
That the story goes any further
Than this.
This waiting
This seeing… NOTHING
This knowing
This peace
This HOPE
This tree.
Archive for September, 2018
28
Sep
18
Growing Hope
25
Sep
18
The Phases of Adulthood
A good one here from a blogger I really like…
Why are there so many names for the different phases of life from birth through teens (baby, toddler, pre-schooler, kindergartner, grade-schooler, pre-teen, tweener) and almost none for the 60+ years that follow?
It’s not fair! I mean, you’re not just young, then old! For example, I clearly hit Second Puberty around age 40, when all of those little hairs started popping out in weird places.
Here are a few name suggestions for the different
Phases of Adulthood
- 20s: Hipper-than-You-ers, Not Fairers, Communists
- 30s: Still-Got-It-ers, Owned-by-My-Kids-ers, Democrats
- 40s: Trying-to-Keep-It-ers, Our-Music-Was-Better-than-Yours-ers, Moderates
- 50s: Had-More-Than-You-Ever-Will-ers, Bend-Over-Groaners, Republicans
- 60s: Wait-Where-Did-I-Put-It-ers, Fascists
- 70s: I-Don’t-Need-a-Cane-ers, All-Politicians-are-the-Same-ers
- 80s: Where’s-My-Cane-ers, Communists
What names would yousuggest for the Phases of Adulthood?
24
Sep
18
Adversarity
One of my favorite radio programs is a public radio show called The Moth.
If you have never listened to it, you should. Here is a link to the website: https://themoth.org.
The Moth is people telling stories. Nothing more. Nothing less.
The stories are recorded at public events called StorySlams and cover a wide array of the human experience. On a given week, for example, you might hear someone talk about the year she spent as a member of a sultan’s harem, an addict remembering his long, slow climb to sobriety, or a teacher discussing a group of third-graders and their military maneuvers on the playground.
The stories on The Moth are not all winners, but I always come away from listening feeling somehow enriched.
Last week as the final music of the latest Moth episode was concluding, I realized I still had forty-five more minutes of driving ahead on my hour-long trip. So I set off in search of the next option on the radio dial.
The public radio station had gone to classical music, so that was a quick, “Nope. No thanks.”
My mind having been stimulated by The Moth, I didn’t feel like just zoning out to classic rock or alt beats, or country/western music, so I began searching for talk radio options.
You know, talk radio… that place you go to find intelligent, well-reasoned opinions being expressed and then responded to by other intelligent, well-reasoned counter-opinions.
What I found instead was screaming, ranting tirades by angry radio hosts, responded to either by screaming ranting FANS or screaming ranting FOES of the original viewpoint presented.
The tone was such a jarring contrast to the tone of The Moth that it literally hurt my head to listen. I punched the next button as quickly as I could.
“I know!” I said, to no one in particular. “How about sports talk radio?”
But the result – as you have probably guessed by now – was exactly the same. Screaming, ranting radio hosts, responded to by screaming, ranting callers. I was shocked to discover that the fate of the Free World actually hung on the Cleveland Browns’ decision about who to start at quarterback this week!
And so… I hit the “Power Off” button and spent the rest of my drive in silence, contemplating Life, Love, and Laundry.
Admittedly it was a small sample size from which to draw conclusions, but my experience raised an interesting question for me. It made me ask: is there some fundamental, core reason we need adversaries in order to be fully human?
It certainly seems sometimes, doesn’t it?
I often get the feeling that we go out of our way to set up oppositional types of situations… in all realms of life. Team A doing battle against Team B to determine the winner seems to form the basis of our systems of war, sports, politics, and most business.
Lately, it seems as if “winning you over to MY point of view” is the way we talk to one another, too.
Advocates of this approach suggest that adversarity(yes, I just made that word up) is the only way anything ever improves. They point out that businesses that lack competition become lazy and lackadaisical about innovating or providing exceptional service.
And I am not sure I would really ever work to improve my jump shot if I wasn’t going to use it to try and win a pick-up basketball game.
But we also need to remember that – according to the psalmist – we are each “… fearfully and wonderfully made…” (Psalm 139), with – I presume – an unbridled capacity to continually hone and refine our God-given abilities.
But does that necessarily mean refining those abilities in the heat of battle?
As I listened to the story-telling on The Moth, delving deeper and deeper into the meat and meaning of a few simple life experiences, I felt the deep tingle of inspiration stirring inside. I loved the open and vulnerable way the storytellers peeled back the layers of their lives and invited me in to look.
I wanted to do the same… and tell the stories that have helped shape MY life.
Without having to threaten to crush or annihilate me, those storytellers coaxed me closer and closer to a willingness to explore similar places in my own life. They beckoned me to walk where wonder and surprise and humor might have swirled together to create a rich place of meaning… to look again at something I might have overlooked before.
Yes, King Solomon also told us, “…iron sharpens iron” (Proverbs 27:17).
But sometimes the best tools are made from something a lot softer than iron.
Abundant blessings;
20
Sep
18
I Am Sic
If this speaks to you, I hope you find hope in these words.
I am sic
Nervous tic
Binge and purge
This endless urge.
Odd
Erroneous
Out of place
Unworthy of the human race.
Worthy of comment
Worthless, I vomit
Bird in a cage
From the rope I will plummet.
Dead to his Word
Alive to their world
Baptised in blood
Yet drowned in the flood.
No peace here, just pieces
Faceless diseases
Endless attacks
This war never ceases
For I am sick
And I am sic
Liar, fool,
And lunatic.
I don’t write much poetry but I woke with the phrase ‘I am sic’ in my head this morning. Sic, as in the adverb placed after a quoted word to highlight that it is grammatically incorrect but is quoted in its original format. The poem hopes to describe how I felt in my lowest OCD days. It does not represent how I feel today, but I hope it may speak out to…
View original post 117 more words
17
Sep
18
How Much is Enough?
How much is enough?
In many ways the answer to that question depends on what we’re talking about, doesn’t it?
Asking how much money is enough, for example, might lead us to a very different answer than asking how much health or freedom or cuteness is enough.
Today I am asking specifically about penance… as in “How much penance is enough?”
My question is prompted by an August 28 story in the New York Times about the re-emergence of the comedian Louis C.K. less than nine months after he admitted to a wide variety of sexual misconduct allegations.
As you might expect, there were a LOT of people quoted in that article that did not think nine months was long enough for him to be out of circulation. In fact, a fellow comedian named Sarah Lazarus put the whole thing into a great perspective when she said, “I’m still on the same shampoo bottle as when louis ck’s time out started.”
I don’t really have a good answer to the “how much is enough” question, but I will not hesitate to declare my opinion that nine months seems WAY too short a time of banishment for the kind of stuff Mr. C.K. is reported to have done.
So are we going to start seeing Matt Lauer or Kevin Spacey or Charlie Rose pop up again on our TV screens after their respective timeouts have expired?
Harvey Weinstein? It’s probably safe to say he is gone for good.
And so, not only am I completely without answers to the “how much penance is enough?” question, I am not even sure I know which yardstick we should use to measure it with!
For example, should we measure by the “equivalency of pain inflicted” yardstick? In other words, should each of these perpetrators stay locked in their dungeons until they have experienced the same amount of pain that they caused their victims?
Some believe that is the right approach. If so, nine months of exile doesn’t even BEGIN to scratch the surface of inflicted pain, based on statements from several of C.K.’s victims.
Should we perhaps use the “level of remorse” yardstick? So when the “Remorse-O-Meter” we’ve hooked up to these guys reaches a certain level, we cut them loose?
Then there is the rehabilitation yardstick to consider. I have heard stories about mandated sensitivity training for Weinstein, but what about any of those other wrongdoers? And does it make sense to send them back out there once they receive their certificate of completion?
Or should we just never, ever have to see any of them in public ever again?
Admittedly, this is not a close parallel, but I have known people in the ministry who have committed some fairly serious transgressions. In each case there was an assessment of the “damage done,” and a path to recovery prescribed for them.
Because of the severity of their transgressions, a few of those pastors never did return to ministry. But for others, there was never less than a two-year absence.
Yes, the perspective of faith advocates for the forgiveness for sinners. In my own life I can vividly recall times when I have hurt others, messed up, and made horrible mistakes, and then experienced the grace of a loving God who took pity on me and said, “Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more.” (John 8:11, NRSV).
But I also know that forgiveness is not for you or me to extend… unless we were the ones victimized. If you were not damaged by Louis C.K., Matt Lauer, Charlie Rose, Kevin Spacey, or Harvey Weinstein (or others), YOU do not get to forgive them.
That’s God’s job.
In the same way, the “how much penance is enough” question is not for me or you to decide. It is strictly in the hands of the only ONE who can read the heart and mind of the transgressor.
So maybe instead of worrying about the penance or the rehabilitation of those who inflicted the damage, let’s worry instead about the healing of those who were hurt.
And leave the rest to God.
08
Sep
18
The Perfect Day
Here where I live, it has been raining all day today.
It also rained a bit yesterday, but then it rained a LOT the day before.
All this rain helped me remember an innocent, idle thought from Monday… the day before all the rain decided to come calling. It was nothing… just a blip that briefly flitted through my brain.
When the thought came I was out walking. The sun was shining, a light breeze was blowing, and the temperature was a perfect 73 degrees.
In fact, everything about that moment was perfect… including my health and overall disposition. In concert with this amazing symphony of perfection, I thought, “Wow! How cool! I wish I could hang on to this moment FOREVER!”
I am sure everyone has had at least one “golden moment” like that… if not recently, then certainly in the not-too-distant past.
I hardly had time to wipe the smile off my face when that thought balloon popped, only to be replaced by the next one, which said, “Are you sure you mean that?” followed quickly by one that read, “Do you realize what you are actually saying?”
“Well, yes, I thought I did,” I said. “What’s wrong with yearning for a perfect life and perfect world?”
But then I began to visualize the answer to my own question. What if it was ALWAYS 73 degrees? What if it NEVER rained? What if clouds never formed in the sky above me? What if I was always chipper and pain-free and strong?
I suppose residents of San Diego, CA can cope with that kind of horrible nightmare, but the more I thought about it, the less that vision appealed to me. I realized it would be a life of utter monotony. All of the color and texture and variety of life would dry up and blow away… not to mention the grass and trees in my front yard.
And then I wondered; is that really what I mean by the word “perfection”? An endless monotone progression of bland, pleasing sameness? Do I really yearn for a life devoid of change, challenge, or uncertainty?
Taken to its extreme, of course, the concept of “perfection through uniformity” is the vision that gives birth to systems where difference is punished and variation becomes the enemy.
On second thought, no thanks. I’ll opt instead for the world God created. And by that, I mean the world where the weather changes, where seasons are different, where people speak different languages, prefer different foods, love different movies, and vote for different candidates.
Yeah. Give me that kind of perfection. Give me the perfection of change, difference, diversity, novelty, and surprise.
Bring on the rain!
04
Sep
18
Leashed Justice
When it first happened, I felt kind of righteous and empowered.
A little later, I began to be unsure.
Later still I just felt bad. And more than a little ashamed of myself.
You see, in my community here in Overland Park, Kansas we have leash laws. This means that when you have your dog out on a walk, you are legally obliged to have him or her on a leash.
It’s not a good idea. It’s not a suggestion.
It’s a LAW.
And happily enough, most people comply with the leash law.
But now and then there are a few folks we meet on the trail who don’t.
When I meet them, I try and speculate on their reasons for ignoring the leash law. I wonder to myself:
- “Maybe they are new to town and aren’t aware of the leash law.”
- “Maybe they have extraordinarily well-trained dogs who stay right by their master’s side, or else who come immediately when they are called.”
- “Maybe their last leash broke and they haven’t been able to afford to go get a new one yet.”
Normally the sight of an unleashed dog wouldn’t bother me. However, the last dog we had (dearly departed little Molly) was VERY aggressive toward other dogs when we were out for a walk. Molly would viciously growl and snap at them and tug on the leash as if to say, “Let me at ‘em! Let me at ‘em!”I worried that an unleashed dog might forget their careful obedience training and respond to her aggressiveness with similar aggression.
Because, you know, they are dogs… animals directly descended from wolves.
So there I was the other day, happily walking Rosie on the walking trail when what did I see but a lab/something or other mix walking up the trail toward us, unleashed. Trailing behind her was her master… holding a folded up leash in her hand.
I paused and had Rosie sit down next to me, warily regarding the other dog. It approached and began sniffing Rosie in a curious, “Hey, what are you all about anyway?” fashion.
As the owner approached I said, tersely, “Is that dog OK?” Meaning is it friendly.
She replied, “Oh yes… she’s fine.”
To which I responded, “You know there IS a leash law in this community.”
The woman seemed a little taken aback by my abruptness. She looked at me and said, “Yes… I know.”
Unsatisfied with her obvious lack of remorse, I pressed the attack. “Well, then maybe then you should try to OBEY IT!”
Bending down to clip the leash on her dog, she sighed tiredly, said, “Have a nice day,” and continued down the trail.
Like I said… my first feelings following that encounter were feelings of righteousness and empowerment. I mean, what the heck?! A law is a law, right? I’M following it… you should too!
But the further the event receded into the past, the worse I felt. Yes, of course, I stood on the side of legality in that situation. But what had I demonstrated to that person by the way I chose to handle the situation? Did I demonstrate kindness? Or compassion? Or anything even remotely Christ-like in the way I responded to her and her dog?
Being the pastoral type that I am, I immediately began flashing back to Paul’s words in Romans 7 and 8. I heard an updated version of his description of the life devoted to serving the LAW compared to the life devoted to serving the SPIRIT.
In those passages, I’m pretty sure Paul wasn’t talking about leash laws, but he might as well have been.
But then here is where I went from being mildly mopey about the whole thing to being ashamed and embarrassed; it was the point at which I asked myself, “OK, caped crusader… you seem to be more than willing to speak out loud and clear against the injustices of suburbanites ignoring leash laws. But tell me… are you just as willing to speak out against REAL social injustices? For example, injustices like systemic racism, or economic injustice, or sexism, or homophobia or hunger? Are you willing to risk consequences that might be more serious than a sullen scowl from a neighbor?”
I sincerely hope my answer to that question would be “YES.” And heck, maybe I am preparing myself to do exactly that.
But for now, I think I will pick a different path for our morning walk… making sure I ALWAYS have my dog on her leash.
Abundant blessings;
Russellings of the Spirit 