There is no other way to describe it. It was humiliating.

Yesterday I was compelled to transport myself down to the Fort Collins Municipal Court building to try and explain to the city’s Powers That Be that – despite their rather persuasive evidence – I DID in fact stop at that red light before turning right.

As part of the extensive documentation accompanying my ticket and fine, the good people of the Fort Collins Police Department sent me video footage of my crime. I must say, the number of cameras used and the multiple angles employed rivaled a production of Monday Night Football. There was the front of my car, the back of my car, a closeup of my ruggedly handsome face there behind the wheel, and video footage of the alleged running of the red light.

I was ready to just go ahead, pay the fine, and be done with it. That is, until I watched the video. THERE! I SAW it! A barely detectable tap of the brakes before my car wheeled around the corner ahead of a LOOOOOONG line of traffic coming from the left. 

“I have a case!” I exclaimed. “I’m going to go to court and fight this!” “Viva la REVOLUCION!”

Yesterday was what they called my “pre-trial readiness hearing.” Ready? You BET I’m ready! Bring it on, bruh! Let’s get this party started!

I was not sure what to expect when I arrived at the courthouse. What I found was a newish, attractive brick building staffed by some very nice people. Everyone I met at the courthouse was extremely friendly and polite, from the guard at the front door, to the cashier, to the city attorney. Heck, even my fellow lawbreakers seemed to be warm and hospitable.

When I was finally called back to the attorney’s office to discuss how to proceed, I found a friendly fellow named Mike seated at a desk on which two computer monitors sat. 

“Would you like to watch it again?” Mike asked… again, in an extremely warm, solicitous voice.

“Sure!” I replied, confident of my pending vindication.

As if anticipating my interest in re-watching the video, Mike immediately turned to his computer and hit “Play.” And then I saw it. My very own black, 2010 Nissan Murano, Colorado license plate proudly displayed for all to see, whipping around the corner of LeMay and Drake Roads without even the HINT of a stop. In fact, it looked like I might even have sped up a little as I made the turn. 

Awkwardly and embarrassedly, I looked down at my shoes and mumbled, “Hmmm. Guess I’ll just go ahead and pay the fine then.” The good news, Mike told me as he pointed me down the hall to the convenient cashier’s window, is that this infraction does not carry any of the dreaded POINTS with it.

Making mistakes is easy. I know. I do it all the time. Denying you’ve made a mistake, being presented with the clear evidence of your mistake, and THEN having to eat a giant piece of humble pie and confess that mistake is a lot harder. It is like a double dose of shame. There is the shame of the original screw-up, compounded by the shame of your erroneous denial. 

Far easier, some would have us believe, to puff out one’s chest, double down on the original error, and say, “I totally meant to do that!”

It just goes to show how preciously fragile our egos are, doesn’t it? It is as if we believe perfection is not only achievable, but is, in fact, the standard the world expects of us. We act like both our RELATIONSHIP and our entire reason for being will go straight into the woodchipper because of that stupid mistake.

 Today, I thank God for the miracle of grace. No. Not because grace tells me that it is OK to run around running red lights. But rather because this amazing, unconditional, undeserved gift from God tells me that neither my identity nor my future is blemished by my blunder. Grace – through faith in Christ – assures me (and you) of the totality of our forgiveness and reminds us of our unlimited freedom to step forward afresh… unchained and unbound.

Yes, there will still be a civic fine to be paid. And yes, there will need to be a sheepish explanation to the wifey of just exactly what happened… and why. 

But it is unspeakably good to know that God and I are square.

Abundant blessings;