Posts Tagged ‘angst

06
Jan
21

The Enemy Within

Raised voices.

Shaken fists.

Popped forehead veins.

Tensed muscles.

We all recognize the signals of anger. We have seen it at work many times before; in ourselves and in others. We are seeing overwhelming amounts of it in our nation’s capital today.

We know its destructive power and its crazy, irrational flight path. 

We quickly identify it as a threat to the peace we seek to cultivate.

And yet, if we really are as savvy and self-aware as we pretend to be, why do we keep moving TOWARD anger, violence, and mayhem instead of AWAY from them? Why do they fascinate us so? What primordial force is at work, drawing us in, like moths to a flame?

  • We can’t get enough of sporting events featuring violence.
  • We HAVE to slow down and check out the accident on the side of the road.
  • TV commentators have to shout at each other to gain our attention.
  • Our favorite television programs center on crime, injury, death, tragedy, and egregious harm done by one person to another.

We know we should disdain it, but we remain mesmerized.

It is too easy to shake our heads, point our fingers at “them” and say things like, “Shocking!” and “Shameful!” and “Outrageous!” It keeps us from looking too deeply inside ourselves and seeing the seeds of violence living there. We are quick to pronounce absolution on ourselves, saying, “My constitution might include a few unwholesome urges, but at least I don’t do things like THAT!”

But while we are busy looking “out there,” for insight we are missing a golden opportunity to examine what is “in here.” None of us really want to acknowledge how dangerously close we are to being part of The Mob… you know, the very same people who cheered for Jesus on Palm Sunday and then shouted, “CRUCIFY HIM!” five days later. 

Dear God, please hear our prayer. Please, God, lead us in acts of repentance that first recognize our own violent tendencies and then help us to turn our backs on those tendencies and seek the path of peace. 

In your name and for your sake we pray…

AMEN. 

04
May
20

Caution? or Fear?

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” (2 Timothy 1:7, NLT)

Tilt A WhirlLast night I was in our kitchen making a salad. No biggie.

After chopping the tomatoes, I realized I still needed a few leaves of baby spinach for an iron boost. I turned around to the refrigerator, opened the door, and bent down to the open the vegetable-crisper drawer.

All of a sudden, the room started spinning and I became very woozy and disoriented.

Damn!” I thought. “Another vertigo attack.”

I have had these before, so I knew what to do. Joan helped me to the couch where I laid down and immediately began engaging in the Epley Maneuver. (Here is a helpful little diagram of the Epley Maneuver for those who are unfamiliar with it).

It had been more than a year since my last encounter with the vertigo monster. I have undergone countless neurological tests to determine what causes them. However, the best anyone can come up with is a diagnosis of “Benign Positional Vertigo,” meaning that sometimes, when I assume certain positions, little stones of calcium in my inner ear get dislodged and bring on the impromptu Tilt-A-Whirl.

I stop and do a little Epley-ing and the ride stops. The nausea induced by the spinning lasts much longer, but the spinning itself is usually tamed pretty quickly.

I was distressed because I really thought I was done with these. That is until BOOM! There it came… out of the clear blue sky.

As I lay there with the cold compress on my head, (thank you, sweetheart), I began ticking through the “what ifs”.

  • “What if I get a bunch of these back-to-back?”
  • “What if this happens while I’m driving… or walking the dogs… or mowing the lawn?”
  • “What if this is something more serious than misplaced little calcium stones?”

And then – without missing a beat – I began to strategize a whole new life pattern that would help steer me clear of any vertigo-induced mishaps. I probably shouldn’t drive a car anymore. I should probably wear a football helmet while out walking. Maybe it would be wise to pad all the corners in our house with Styrofoam bumpers!

That’s when I knew I had crossed over… from CAUTIOUS LIVING to FEARFUL LIVING.

It made me wonder if I really knew the difference between the two.

We are certainly in a time now when smart (and compassionate) people engage in cautious living. We stay inside unless absolutely necessary. We keep a safe distance from others if and when we go out. We wear face masks and gloves. We wash our hands with ridiculous frequency.

It is good to be cautious when a highly deadly, highly contagious virus is loose in the land.

But when do we cross over from wise caution to unwise (and we might even call it unfaithful) FEAR?

In these global pandemic time, the line between those two is very fine indeed.

The answer lies there in the word “spirit.” Caution might lead us to do exactly the same things that fear would. Fearful and cautious people both wear facemasks, don’t they? The difference is the SPIRIT with which they put them on.

And maybe – just maybe – we can keep ourselves on this side of the CAUTION/FEAR line by exercising some GRATITUDE. Because you see, when we pause and give thanks for the infinite blessings we still DO have, we are too busy to count up the things we MIGHT NOT HAVE should disaster strike.

I tried it last night after my vertigo attack and it was amazingly effective! I said, “Thank you God, for this Epley person… whoever he or she was.” “Thank you that I have this loving wife by my side to soothe me and bring me a cold washcloth.” “Thank you that I was here in my home when this happened and not out on the highway.” “Thank you that this is really nothing more than misplaced bits of calcium.”

Be cautious, yes. But do not fear.

 

… but don’t even get me started on that New York Times article about the arrival in this country of those Giant Asian Murder Hornets!!!




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