Posts Tagged ‘experience

31
Mar
23

Abandoned

I am a guy who likes to keep score. Which probably explains my attraction to nearly every sport under the sun… every sport, that is, except golf. 

(Low score wins? Wait, WHAT??? How messed up is that?)

Besides keeping track of those myriad officially sanctioned events, I routinely keep score for all manner of mundane activities around our house. For example, I race Joan to see who can brush their teeth the fastest. I compare this week’s number of Diet Coke cans in the recycling bin to last week’s total. I try to set new land speed records for mowing my lawn, or (as is the case this week) shoveling my driveway. I count to see how many consecutive wadded up paper towels I can shoot into the wastebasket. 

However, I realized earlier today there is one area of life for which I absolutely HATE – or violently detest – keeping score. And that is the area of ABANDONED CONVICTIONS. What I mean by “abandoned convictions” is this: those areas of life where I once had a firm, ironclad conviction about what was right and what was wrong, only to find out later that I was COMPLETELY off-base, necessitating the embarrassed abandonment of that conviction. 

As I stop and think back on some of those, I am more than a bit mortified to see how many “ACs” (as I call them) are stacked up there at my doorstep. This is the kind of scorekeeping I would love to avoid at all costs. 

For example, growing up, I was absolutely convinced that…

  • … Hilliard, Ohio was the best possible place in the world to live.
  • … Hilliard, Ohio was the worst possible place in the world to live.
  • … men were better at everything than women.
  • … “tag” was a better game than “hide-and-go-seek.”
  • … liver, olives, Brussel sprouts, and mushrooms were all poisonous and should never – under ANYcircumstances! – be put into one’s mouth. (I’m still not convinced that isn’t true about olives, by the way.)
  • … math was only invented to make my life miserable.
  • … people who drank alcohol of any kind – but especially beer – were degenerate miscreants.
  • … everything I was taught in school was the 100%, bonafide, unvarnished TRUTH.
  • … that my parents were good, upright, morally flawless people.
    • Mind you, mom and dad were/are really incredibly good people, on the whole. But as we all discover at some point, even good people stumble occasionally.

As I matured, these convictions were examined under the twin microscopes of Wisdom and Experience and eventually abandoned. (All, that is, except for the olive conviction). But that did not prevent a new set of convictions from rising up and taking their place. 

Some of those new convictions included my heartfelt belief(s) that… 

  • … my country – the good, ol’ USA – is the most morally upright, blemish-free nation on earth.
  • … being gay is something people choose to do to be outrageous.
  • … every person would be better off and happier if they were married.
  • … people espousing staunch religious beliefs are probably doing so to hard truths about the difficulties of life.
  • … Jesus Christ was a wise moral teacher. Nothing more. Nothing less.
  • … baseball is the highest form of sport known to humankind.
  • … discipline and consistency are BORING!
  • … the important thing in deciding on your life’s work is accurately answering the question, “What seems like a COOL career?”
  • … all it takes to succeed in life is charm and a winsome smile. 

As was the case with the aforementioned childhood convictions, each of these – when studied under the harsh light of Reason and Evidence – also came crashing to earth and incinerated in a smoldering pile, before my eyes. 

I could continue this exercise and list all the later-in-life convictions I have held, only to abandon them later under closer scrutiny… 

… but I think you get the picture. 

As I look back on that track record, printed there in black and white, it makes me look like the biggest flip-flopper in the history of flip-flopping. It almost prompts me to ask questions like, “Dude… if you keep having to abandon your tightly held convictions, why do you bother even HAVING them in the first place?” and, “Is there really any such thing as an Ultimate and Unshakable Truth that withstands every challenge of Evidence, Reason, Wisdom, and Experience?”

The answer to the first question is easy. That’s because we each need convictions. Convictions are the anchors that keep us from blowing away with the next gust of wind. They help us make decisions. Convictions form the guardrails that keep our Car of Life on the road. 

The second question sounds tougher, but it really isn’t. The answer – for me – is an emphatic YES! The U.U.T. (Ultimate, Unshakable Truth) is that God (a.k.a., the power that created and continues to sustain all that was, is, and ever will be) is LOVE. And because LOVE is that kind of primal and generative force of the universe, NOTHING – not evil, not greed, not hate, not darkness, not prejudice, not political power, not ANYTHING – will ever ultimately triumph over it. 

And THAT is a conviction I will never abandon. 

Abundant blessings;

P.S. This might be a fun exercise for you, too. What are YOUR current convictions? Where did they come from? How firm are they? What would have to happen to convince you to abandon them?

08
Sep
22

A Rich, Rich Man

Maybe it’s NOT about the Benjamins!

It was one of those perfect, early autumn evenings. The air was still hot and clammy, but the rays of the sun were starting to slant toward the horizon. I was excited because tonight was the first game of the season with my NEW softball team!

[Just so we understand ourselves clearly from the outset, I LOVE playing slow-pitch softball. I am, however, utterly unencumbered by anything resembling actual softball-playing talent.]

This was at least thirty-five years ago, when I was still working at the bank. It was a men’s team made up mostly of some guys I worked with and a few of their friends. After doing some hamstring, glute, and quad stretches, I ambled over to introduce myself to some of my new teammates. 

My eyes drifted toward a man with neatly combed graying hair who stood there tying his cleats at the end of our bench. I didn’t recognize him, so I walked over, stuck out my hand and said, “Hi there! I don’t think we’ve met!”

To which he replied, “Hi there! I’m Rich!”

And since, back then, I was a scintillating and clever young man, regularly given to cracking totally obvious, cornpone jokes, I grabbed his hand, shook it, and replied, “Well, I’m not yet, but I hope to be!” 

[Rich, that is. Get it?]

At the time I unleashed my droll little riposte, my words were absolutely accurate. I was at the very beginning of a promising career as a Series 7 registered investment representative. I worked at a respected local bank and had visions of golden sugarplums and a big, fat 401(k) fund dancing in my head. 

And here, today, half a lifetime later, I am floored to realize how lavishly that dream of fabulous wealth has been realized…

… of course, in God’s own time. In God’s own way.

You see, definition #2 of the word “rich” is, “Abundant. Plentiful. As in, “… the nation’s rich and diverse wildlife,” while definition #5 says, “interesting because of being full of diversity or complexity.” As in, “What a full, rich life you lead!”

I have not (not yet, at least!) become rich in the sense of definition #1: “Having a great deal of money or assets.” But looking back on my life now, I have become fabulously rich by definition #2 and definition #5 standards!

  • I am rich in FAMILY. The one I was born into and the one I helped build along the way. They are all such awesome, goofy, great, smart, idiotic, special, warped, and splendid humans. I don’t know what I would do without any one of them.
  • I am rich in EXPERIENCE. Some of which I sought out on purpose… some of which sneaked up and ambushed me while I was looking the other way.
  • I am rich in RELATIONSHIPS. Living in one place for 45 years will do that for you. But now, since Joan and I decided to uproot ourselves and move to a brand-new town, we have a chance to build a whole bunch MORE!
  • Thanks to my parents, many, many mentors, the mysterious working of the Holy Spirit, and God’s inspired Word, I also wake up today to find I am rich in FAITH.
  • And finally, today’s list would not be complete without mentioning that I am also rich in LOVE. Both the love that has been astonishingly lavished upon me, but the love I feel toward the people and the world around me.

WOW! When you put it that way, I am a much richer guy than I could ever have imagined when I made my famous wisecrack to Rich on that softball field so very long ago.

That could very well be what Jesus was talking about when he sat his disciples down and told them, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” (John 10:10, NRSVU). 

I have lost track of Rich over the years, but wherever he is, I pray he has discovered that he is not only Rich, but also (definition #2) rich, and (definition #5) rich.

And wherever you are today, whatever your name is, I pray the richness of God’s good grace for you as well today. 

Abundant blessings;

25
Aug
21

One Step at a Time

Amid some stiffness, soreness, and a bit of fatigue, there is also some genuine satisfaction bubbling up in my spirit today.

Horsetooth at sunrise. Photo by Georgia Evans

That is because yesterday, I managed to climb Horsetooth Rock… an iconic Fort Collins landmark. 

At a mere 7500 feet, Horsetooth has not even earned the right to be called a mountain, apparently. But I’ll tell you what… it was plenty high enough for me. From the parking lot at the trail head, it is a 6.4 mile round trip with a 1,584 foot elevation gain. 

Now, you might be as unimpressed as my oldest son who responded to my news with a meme of the Steve Carrell “Office” character saying, “Cool story.” 

But let me tell you… for this particular old guy, it was a genuine feat. On top of which, it gave me six or eight brand new ideas for BLOG POSTS!

First, it provided me with a reminder about the importance of STEPS. According to my calculations and the size of my stride, 6.4 miles is about 11,264 steps. Steps, I discovered, that can only be taken one at a time.

Over the course of my life, I have undertaken many journeys… journeys that have involved a high number of steps. I’ll be the first to admit that those steps have not always been taken with joy and determination. 

My left foot

One classic response of mine has been to pause and ponder the incredibly high number of steps involved in said journey and then turn away, overwhelmed. I am sure that was one of the things that prevented me from pursuing my call to ordained ministry for so long. 

SOOOO many steps. SOOOO many years. SOOOO much work!

Another response to seeing a long, difficult road stretching ahead is what I call the Suffering Stoic response. This is the guy (or gal) who peers down the road, screws his/her face up into a tight grimace, clenches their teeth, and then bravely sets off, sword in hand, ready to slay all dragons along the way. 

This was my approach to learning each musical instrument I have ever played. It was also how I have begun every morning at a couple of the jobs I’ve had the privilege to hold. 

Each of these approaches has the same root problem; they are each hampered by focusing too much on the WHOLE journey instead of looking at just the NEXT STEP

  • Seminary was a much more positive experience when I looked only at THIS class, at THIS paper, and at THIS exam instead of considering the whole 4.5-year lump.
  • Parenthood wasn’t a snap, but we found that it held so much more joy when we looked at each moment on its own merits.
  • Climbing Horsetooth became much more doable when I took one step at a time vs. worrying about all 11,264 of those steps.

Of course, as in most journeys, it was good to stop now and then, step back, and take in the wider perspective. Remembering that your steps are part of a broader context gives each of those steps a much richer, deeper meaning. 

Jesus held this tension perfectly in this parable from the Sermon on the Mount: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” (Matthew 6:25-27, NRSV)

Yes, this lesson is about trusting God. As I read it, though, it is also very much a lesson about taking the journey one step at a time. It is the lesson our sisters and brothers in the addiction recovery community have leaned on as a genuine life saver. 

So… next step: locate a couple of photos to illustrate the main point of this here post… 

… Add some tags.

… Then hit “Publish.”

But please… just one step at a time.

Abundant blessings;

21
Jan
20

Soul Winter

Dead leaves 2Yep.

Just poked my head out the window and confirmed something I’ve suspected for about a month now.

IT’S WINTER! (Unless, of course, you happen to live in the southern hemisphere).

And by the looks of things, it plans to continue being winter for quite a bit longer.

And so far here in my part of the country, it’s not that cute, cuddly, Currier-and-Ives kind of winter that looks like a beautiful snow globe someone has shaken up.

No. It is more that kind of slice-through-your-bones, punch-you-in-the-face, steal-all-your-joy-and-your-peanut-butter-and-jelly-sandwich-too kind of winter.

Winter is that time of year when you would swear that a massive crop-dusting plane flew over the whole country and dumped a load of DDT on everything.

In the winter, all plant life is dead. And brown. And gross. Take a look at these… I shot these pictures in our neighborhood while I was out walking the dog this morning. Note the remarkable lack of life in evidence here. Dead leaves 1

As winter trudges slowly by, it is sometimes tempting to look around at the deadness of the world and conclude that this condition will never, ever end. I have to admit… from the vantage point of January 21, 2020, warm weather and green grass seem like an impossible pipe dream somewhere out there on the eternal horizon.

Experience, however, tells us a different story. Experience keeps us from looking at the dead leaves and plunging into deep despair. Today we look at all this brown grass and detritus around but we don’t abandon hope. Even though our spirits might flag at this depressing sight, we grab ourselves by the lapels (or collar. Or bootstraps) and remind ourselves that this dreary, weary season will surely pass.

We have seen it happen before. And because we have seen it before, we are confident we will see it again.

This confidence goes by another name. It is also called FAITH.

In the case of the seasons, our faith has its roots firmly in our experience.

But what happens if we don’t have an experience like the certainty of spring to base our hope on?  What if we look around and see gloom and doom and have strong reasons to wonder if things will EVER be different?

That is precisely when a different kind of faith is called for. That is when we each need to reach a little deeper into our knapsack and search around a bit.

As a Christ-follower, I have the story of Easter to latch onto… the story that provides a graphic illustration of the truth that says, “Even when things look their bleakest, there is still hope. With God, the worst thing is never the last thing.”

As one who strives (and struggles) to live by his guidance, I can also consider myself an inheritor of the promise that Jesus gave the members of his inner circle on the night he was arrested. He told them, “In the world you face persecution. But take courage; I have conquered the world!” (John 16:33, NRSV).

In the valleys we each face from time to time, we may lack the kind of hopeful certainty that we get when we watch winter inevitably give way to spring. But God is here to remind us that God’s promise of new life on the other side of something that looks like death is just as sure… just as reliable… just as much of a “lock” as the green crocus buds that will be showing up here in a couple of months.

If you, or someone you know, are struggling with your own version of a “winter of the soul,” take heart…

God’s spring is just around the corner.




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