Posts Tagged ‘love

11
Jan
18

Blurred vision

dirty_glasses_635_358I had to clean my glasses today.

They had gotten so crusty and grimy they were getting hard to see through.

When I finally took them off and held them up to the light I was shocked. I was amazed to think how long it took me to finally realize my glasses had been accumulating a world-class layer of schmutz.

(LURKING METAPHOR ALERT!) You see, sometimes we don’t notice right away when our vision is becoming obscured. It starts with just one tiny, insignificant splotch followed by another equally tiny splotch a few hours later and so on… tiny splotch by tiny splotch… until suddenly you have no idea if that is a snow plow, city bus, or elephant looming ahead there in the roadway.

You see, sometimes we have to stop and look AT what we have been looking THROUGH.

But we won’t ever clean our own glasses until we first stop and recognize that they are dirty.

Metaphors aside, as you and I go about the business of observing the world around us and commenting on what we see there, we have to regularly dare to be skeptical about the quality and clarity of our own vision.

That’s something I recognize that I really need to do. But to do that effectively, I need YOUR help. You are in the best place to recognize the smudges obscuring my vision.

So please… let me know. Freely. Unabashedly. Firmly, but – if possible – lovingly.

Maybe instead of scrunching up your face and saying, “EWWWW! Your glasses are so GROSS!” you could say, “Hey, Russell… here’s what I see;”

 

Because who knows… maybe YOUR glasses are dirty, too.

 

Blessings…

02
Jan
18

An Unbreakable Resolution?

new-year-blogWelcome to the first week of 2018!

Welcome to the time of college football, Christmas put-away, refrigerator clean-out, and wistful dreaming of white sand beaches in warm, sunny climes.

Welcome also to the Time of Resolution!

When it comes to resolutions, I’ve got some of the usual suspects already lined up and ready to go… for 2018 I am resolving to lose weight, spend more time at the gym, be more disciplined in my daily devotions, connect more with friends and family, complain less, compliment more, complete stalled creative projects, travel more, etc.

Blah, blah, blah.

The problem is, I know me.

I know I am that guy who regularly talks a good game about vision, goals, and ideals and starts off with a BANG… but then gradually fades down the stretch… falling just short of carrying through with my grand plans.

And so – as a counterweight to this personal tendency toward entropy – I decided to devise another list of resolutions. I call these my “LHF Resolutions,” LHF as in, Low Hanging Fruit.

These are resolutions I will be easily able to keep. In fact, when you read a couple of these you will see that it would actually take MORE effort to break them than keep them.

My LHF resolutions for 2018 include resolutions to:

  • Always be clothed when going out in public.
    • And in a related resolution, that all articles of clothing are worn right side out.
  • Open the garage door before backing the car out.
    • … or before driving it back in again.
  • Exhale the same number of times I inhale.
  • Socks on BEFORE shoes. Never the other way around.
  • Walk on two legs rather than four.

There are more on the list, but I think you get the point.

I had the same list at the beginning of 2017 and I am happy to report a 100 PERCENT success in keeping them!

All kidding aside, do you think there really is such a thing as an UNBREAKABLE resolution? On the one hand, if a resolution really is a resolution, it should be VERY hard to break. The root word of resolution is the word RESOLVE that the dictionary defines as: “determination, firmness or fixedness of purpose.”

So if I really had a “determination” or “firmness or fixedness of purpose” about my goals for the year, wouldn’t it be impossible NOT to accomplish them?

Alas, sometimes even the deepest reservoir of firmness and/or fixedness cannot overcome the shortcomings this human flesh is heir to.

As we enter this New Year, it is good to be reminded that there really is only ONE resolution that is absolutely ironclad and unbreakable: that is God’s resolution to love us and forgive us. In no less than fifty-two separate times in the Old Testament, we are reminded, “God’s steadfast love endures forever.”

It is a resolution that has been tested again and again. Millennia after millennia of human sin and depravity have given our Creator ample opportunity to throw up divine hands in disgust and say, “OK… that’s it. The deal is OFF! You guys pushed it TOO FAR this time! From now on, it’s just STERN POLICEMAN GOD.”

Thankfully God has continued God’s resolution to love human beings, forgive them, and offer them another chance to love God and one another.

Maybe THIS year we will get it right!

 

Abundant blessings;

18
Dec
17

War? Seriously?

You have to admit, without hearing daily casualty counts it is hard to tell how the war is going.

No… I’m not talking about the war on terror, or the Afghan war, or the perpetual state of war and unrest in the Middle East.

I’m talking, of course, about the “war on Christmas” being waged throughout our fair land.

No doubt you have heard about some of the tragic losses that have been incurred by faithful, practicing Christians since the war began several years ago.war-on-christmas-decaf

WARNING: Read no further unless you have a high tolerance for graphic language and vivid descriptions of heartless, heinous acts. But here at the Bureau of Relentless Enquiry (or B.O.R.E. for short), we have it on very good authority that:

  • Elementary schools no longer stage “Christmas plays” featuring Mary, Joseph, shepherds, wise men and first graders dressed as sheep. Horrors!
  • Retail salespeople actually use the phrase, “Happy holidays!” when serving Christian customers in their stores. Yes! It’s true!
  • Starbucks has FREQUENTLY employed seasonal cup designs that have blatantly suggested that the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is NOT THE ONLY THING to celebrate at this time of year.
  • And…
  • Well, OK. That’s pretty much all I’ve got.

If it sounds like I am making light of this subject, you’re right.

I am.

Primarily because some of the reading I did years ago that taught me about times long ago when people who professed the Christian faith did so at their very real and unambiguous personal peril.

We are talking beatings, imprisonings, property seizings, and even killings. Not imagined personal slights and rebuffs.

No, I view the entire “war on Christmas” narrative as essentially a seasonally-adjusted expression of angst triggered by the fact that we live today in a world that is less white, less America-dominated, less Judeo-Christian, and less beholden to cherished tradition than it was 50 years ago.

I am suggesting here that you should translate the cry, “Help! They’re attacking Christmas!!” as really saying, “Help! Please make the world stop changing so fast!!”

It FEELS like an attack on Christmas because it just so happens that the changing shape and complexion of the world occurs at the exact moment that Christianity – and institutional religions of ALL stripes – are experiencing times of historic decline.

I frankly suspect there are Hindu households in the world where matriarchs and patriarchs gather and wring their hands about the “War on Gangaur”. *

Honestly though: the barista who chirps, “Happy holidays!” as he hands you your half-caf, skinny vanilla mocha frappuccino is NOT actually saying, “Fie on Christmas!” in some secret, satanic barista code.

He is, rather, saying, “Hey, I know this is a special time of year for lots of people. But I am not going to blurt out something that makes an assumption about what makes it special for YOU. I am going to offer you a warm greeting that you are free to interpret as you see fit.”

He also says it because the suits at corporate TOLD him to.

The Christian, theological point of Christmas is LOVE INCARNATE. In other words, “love in the flesh”… Love with skin on… Love that ACTS. It is summed up right there at the beginning of John’s gospel where it says, “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among them.” (John 1:14, NRSV).

And call me a naïve, one-worlder tree-hugger if you want to, but somehow I can’t connect a manufactured kind of religious prickliness with “love in the flesh.”

Remember the stuff I said at the beginning of this piece… where I pooh-poohed the idea of a “war on Christmas”?

I take it back. There IS a war on Christmas.

It is being waged by those who work to suck the love out of the season with protests that are actually “much ado about nothing.”

Happy holidays! Merry Christmas!

JOY to all.

*Gangaur” is the colorful and one of the most important festivals of people of Rajasthan and is observed throughout the state with great fervor and devotion by women who worship Gauri, the consort of Lord Shiva during March–April. Source: Wikipedia.

12
Dec
17

Sweet Seduction​

What were we thinking?

We said we would wait a full year. And – NEWS FLASH! THIS JUST IN: nine months is NOT the same thing as one year.

When Molly the dog died in March 2017, my wife and I were both very sad.

Molly came to us almost 10 years ago as a three-year-old “rescue” dog and gradually wormed her way into our hearts.

But you know how it is when you own a dog; it turns out you actually have to SPEND TIME with them and TAKE CARE of them!

They require feeding, walking, cleaning (and cleaning up after), playing, and housing. And when you want to travel, go out to dinner, or just sneak away for the weekend, temporary custodial arrangements must be made.

So while we were heartbroken and sad following Molly’s demise, we were also conscious of a new freedom of movement we had not known in years.

“We won’t be petless forever,” we said. “But let’s take a full year’s sabbatical.”

We adjusted surprisingly quickly to our new state. Gone were the evenings of scurrying back quickly from the theater to feed the dog, or find out what kind of mischief she might have caused. Suddenly we found we could leave home for days at a time without guilt… or the need to arrange a house-and-dog sitter.

We hated to say it out loud, but we actually found ourselves reveling in this new-found autonomy.

So now, less than nine months after our tearful farewell to Molly, we have turned around to discover that a furry, four-legged, eight-week-old little cutie pie named Rosie has settled in and made a home with us. Here is her picture: Rosie under chair

(To answer your question, yes… it is always important to choose a pet whose color coordinates with the color of your furniture and carpet).

How did this happen? What diabolical siren song hypnotized us into thinking that we were ready to take on house-breaking, crate training, both basic and advanced obedience training (more ours than hers of course), restrictions on movement, and regular sleep deprivation?

Hmmm. That’s a real stumper. Let me pause for a few moments and get back to you on that one, OK?

(Thoughtful interlude ensues… imagine “Final Jeopardy” thinking music playing here…)

As it turns out, I spent my pondering time rolling around on the carpet with new puppy, Rosie. She seems to love a little roughhousing complete with mock growls, playful nips and rolled tennis balls. After some spirited belly-rubbing, she rears up on her back legs and paws the air, resembling a tiny, furry stallion. The red rubber squeak toy then seizes her attention and she sees no reason why she should not squeeze it in her teeth over and over and over again.

Such fun!

Little Rosie then notices the dangling Christmas lights and decides they will be the next targets to be attacked and mauled. A combination move consisting of a sharp clap of the hands, loudly spoken “NO!” and deft substitution of the knotted rope chew toy steer her away from the looming Christmas calamity.

“OK, Rosie,” I say, with a hint of reluctance. “Time to stop playing and get back to my laptop. I posed a deep and vexing question in my blog post a minute ago and now I have to go try to answer it.”

So… back to the question: why in the world did we choose to give up all that delicious freedom and take the plunge into puppy parenting?

 

No idea.

None whatsoever.

06
Nov
17

Stunned and speechless

man-crying-facebook“Stunned and speechless” seems to be my default state every time I turn on the news these days.

Just when I think it can’t get worse, somehow it does.

My capacity for outrage is sorely tested every time one person does violence to another… for whatever deranged reason.

I had been struggling to process the avalanche of revelations of sexual assault and harassment in the entertainment and news media recently when suddenly, out of the blue, a young man walked into a small-town church and shot 46 people, killing 26 of them.

“Stunned and speechless” yet again.

As I mulled over all of these “gut punch” events, I began to see a tragic connection between them. Whether the perpetrator is sexually exploiting people or killing them with a gun, each heinous act seems to grow from the same seed: the utter devaluation of the lives of others.

I have no idea what it will take to make it happen, but until we come to see every human life as God sees them: as precious, unique, beloved, and infinitely wonderful, we will probably continue to be stunned and speechless on a regular basis.

“As a father has compassion for his children,
so the Lord has compassion for those who fear him.
For he knows how we were made;
he remembers that we are dust.”

  • Psalm 103:13-14, NRSV
18
Sep
17

Try to Remember…

remember-clip-art“Sorry. I forgot.”

Boy… If I had a dollar for every time those words have come out of my mouth, I would have a LOT of money.

But then after I got that money, the challenge for me would be remembering where I put it!

It is a rather annoying part of my make-up I’ll admit. Forgetting can certainly increase friction on the home front – “Oh, sorry, honey… I forgot to ask her! Sorry, sweetheart! I forgot to bring that inside!” etc., etc.

Forgetting also increases gasoline expenditures… with all of that turning around and driving back to the store for those three things I forgot to buy.

And let’s not even start on the conversation about someone forgetting to renew his or her (actually, his) passport until TWO DAYS before a recent trip out of the country.

In my defense, I can say that I don’t discriminate in my forgetfulness. I forget big things, I forget small things; I forget things about people who are close to me, I forget things about casual acquaintances. I forget the names of black people, white people, gay people, straight people, American-born and non-American born people, Republicans and Democrats alike.

And this forgetting thing somehow doesn’t seem to DECREASE with the accumulation of birthday candles on my cake either… hard as that might be to believe.

It does trouble me, yes. It troubled me enough, in fact, to have some neurological tests done recently. (Weirdly, they came back saying my brain is perfectly OK.)

 But as troubling as MY forgetfulness is, I find myself significantly more worried about OUR forgetfulness. And by OUR, I mean humanity’s.

In the past thirty days we have experienced more than our fair share of calamitous events in this part of the world; two monster hurricanes that wreaked havoc and devastation… wildfires scorching thousands of acres of forest and destroying homes in the American west… and a giant earthquake just to our south in Mexico.

In every one of these situations, we saw incredible outpourings of heroic compassion. People who were complete strangers reached out to help their neighbors. I remember sitting in spellbound awe listening to a radio story about a man in Texas going from house to house to house in his bass boat helping people get to shelters, saving their pets, and delivering aid.

Money has been pouring into the American Red Cross and other assistance groups since even before the first hurricane hit. People in little churches and towns all around the country have been reaching out as if to say, “I may have never met them, but those are my brothers and sisters there in Texas and Florida and Oregon and Washington and Arizona whose lives are being torn apart by these disasters. I need to HELP!”

But then… Even before the waters have begun to recede… we forget.

  • We forget the humanity we share.
  • We forget the fragile nature of life on this planet.
  • We forget we live in a nation that once said we find “strength in diversity.”
  • We forget we are each made of the spiritual DNA of a loving, compassionate God.
  • We forget the “Love one another” commandment from John 15:5… or else we have edited it and added our own little caveat that says, “… but only in times of dire emergency.”
  • We forget the deep joy that comes from carrying our neighbor’s burden … and then also double forget Jesus’ definition of “neighbor” that is found in the 10th chapter of Luke’s gospel in the parable of the Good Samaritan.

diverse gatheringBut some things we remember all too well…

Sadly, we seem to remember to pick up the fears, prejudices, and mistrust of other people that we momentarily laid aside when the storms hit.

  • We “remember” the monumental importance of staking out our positions and platforms and defending them against all manner of heretical critique.
  • We remember who the “insiders” and the “outsiders” are and we rush to reinforce our walls of protection.

It’s funny; hurricanes, floods, fires, and earthquakes seem to remind us who our neighbors are.

But guess what… they’re the same people when the sun is out and the day is calm!

Let’s try to remember that.

Abundant blessings;

15
Aug
17

Certainty, Wisdom, and the Fugue

Three tinhornsMy wife and I had some fun over the weekend. We were part of a local musical revue that featured songs and dances from several well-known Broadway shows.

One of my favorite parts of the show was when I got to sing the Fugue for Three Tinhorns from “Guys and Dolls” with two other men.

Even if the name of the song doesn’t ring a bell, you have probably heard it before. It is the song that features an amateur horse race bettor singing, “I’ve got the horse right here, his name is Paul Revere, and here’s a guy that says if the weather’s clear…” The other two guys join in, fugue-style – singing the virtues of THEIR picks in the upcoming race; horses named Valentine and Epitaph.

The concluding line of the song is when the three point to their tip sheets and sing in harmony, “I’ve got the horse… right… here!!”

It was fun and (I thought) went rather well.

Thinking back on that show and our song, I suddenly realized our frivolous moment onstage might have actually concealed a deeper message.

That message is about CERTAINTY and the ways we arrive at it.

In the song, each of the bettors believes they have a foolproof source of information. For the first guy, the race day weather is the key. The second bettor’s friend is the jockey’s brother so he feels secure with his “inside” information. The third guy relies strictly on the odds displayed in the tip sheet.

The point is, each bettor believes his horse is THE horse.

In fact, they are each certain of it.

Thinking about the song in those terms brought to mind a phrase I read recently in the book, A Failure of Nerve. This book, written by Rabbi, family therapist, and leadership consultant Edwin Friedman, includes insightful prescriptions for those who lead during turbulent times.

Friedman says, “An anxious system demands certainty.” Naturally, that anxious system looks to its leader(s) to provide them with the sought-after certainty.

More often than not, leaders are very willing to provide certainty to the anxious system. That certainty usually comes in the form of strong declarations of righteous, unshakable principles. It comes in the form of definitive lines drawn to help us understand who is on the “good side” and who is on the “bad side” of the issue. It comes in the form of vague, but bold-sounding statements of steps that will be taken, “… going forward.”

Sound familiar?

The problem, according to Friedman, is that certainty is almost always the antithesis of wisdom. When we allow anxiety to drive us toward sure and certain answers, we find that we must also silence the voices that challenge our certainty.

The tinhorns in Fugue sought certainty about an uncertain horseracing event in the future. But by definition, the future cannot be certain until it gets here. And when it gets here it is no longer the future!

Learning to be comfortable with uncertainty and ambiguity is absolutely necessary if we hope to achieve wisdom. According to Friedman, our comfort with ambiguity is, “… critical to keeping the human mind from voyaging into the delusion of omniscience.” (A Failure of Nerve, New York: Seabury, 1997).

As I see it, racism, intolerance, xenophobia, and all forms of hate have their roots in the desire for certainty AT ALL COSTS. We look around us and see a dynamic, uncertain, and changing world… and it seems threatening. The dynamism of that world leads some of us to rush out and erect walls of protection against a world that looks less and less like the one we grew up in. It also makes us hostile to the forces of change.

The good news is yes, there is a timeless truth. Yes, there is omniscience and ultimate wisdom. But it does not reside with you or me or anyone equipped only with this puny three pounds of gray matter we have inside our skulls. It resides only with the One who created us and placed us here in love.

Psalm 111:10 reminds us that: “Fear [meaning awe, or respect] of the Lord is the foundation of true wisdom.” Proverbs 3:5 tells us, “Trust in the Lord… do not rely on your own insight,” and a little later that, “… wisdom is better than jewels, and all that you may desire cannot compare with her.” (Proverbs 8:11).

I believe God calls us to be wise rather than certain. I further believe that the first step on the path to wisdom is HUMILITY… in other words, knowing that we do not know.

May your path lead you to wisdom today.




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