Posts Tagged ‘nice

14
Mar
23

“Have a Nice Day!”

It sounds so simple. So basic. So dripping with common sense.

“Be nice.”

I saw this phrase emblazoned on the front of my granddaughter’s T-shirt the other day and immediately replied, “YES! Of course!”

But then I tried actually DOING it.

Not so easy after all, as it turns out. 

I discovered that being nice is not the same thing as being a smiling, passive doormat that invites everyone to wipe their muddy feet on. It is not a matter of offering a cheery, “Have a nice day!” when some Crabby Appleton slams the door in your face. 

Being nice is probably a kissing cousin to the practice of being loving. And as we all know, being loving is what got Jesus nailed to a cross between two thieves.

“Being nice” means seeing the best in people… even when they go out of their way to hide it. It means understanding that the guy who just spat on your political opinions and called you an idiot might be under a lot of pressure at home right now. It means knowing that the angry gesture you just received from the woman in the lane next to you is not the sum total of her identity. It means realizing that she is probably a deep, complex, multi-faceted person with talents and gifts galore.

Seeing the best in people takes work. It requires patience, insight, and the willingness to dig deeper. When you stop to think about it, making snap, surface judgements about other people is a whole lot easier. Isn’t it?

“Being nice” also means being forgiving. It means refusing to nurture the slights and hurt feelings we carry – usually quite justifiably, I might add! – toward someone else. It means abandoning the need to strike back when struck. It means focusing on the future of the relationship instead of dwelling on its past. It means recognizing one’s own flaws. Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting. It means being willing to move past the injury into the next chapter.

Forgiving usually takes work, too. Firstly, forgiving is forged on a foundation of faith. Faith in the redeemability of every person. Faith in the power of healing. Faith in God. Faith in the future. Forgiving means taking these words from 2 Peter to heart: “For this very reason, you must make every effort to support your faith with excellence, and excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with endurance, and endurance with godliness, and godliness with mutual affection, and mutual affection with love. For if these things are yours and are increasing among you, they keep you from being ineffective and unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (2 Peter 1:5-8, NRSVU). 

When you stop to think about it, holding on to anger and grudges is a whole lot easier. Isn’t it?

“Being nice” also means actively pursuing justice. It means doing more than just saying, “Tsk, tsk. Isn’t that a shame,” when we see injustice taking place. It means taking concrete ACTION to correct the injustice. It means standing on the side of the wounded one… even when the odds are overwhelmingly against you. It means cultivating a heart that is willing to endure the pain of breaking, again and again. It means stepping up to the religious standards of the prophet Isaiah when he admonishes us, saying, “Is not this the fast that I choose: to loose the bonds of injustice, to undo the straps of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke?” (Isaiah 58:6, NRSVU). 

When you stop to think about it, “minding my own business” is a whole lot easier. Isn’t it?

No. “Being nice” (or loving, as Jesus might put it) is not for the faint-of-heart. And it is certainly not something I can do under my own steam. It entails a whole lot more than the catchy T-shirt slogan lets on. “Being nice” is the dictionary definition of the “narrow gate,” vs. the “wide road,” and therefore not terribly appealing.

But it IS what we are called to when we are called to follow Christ. 

Have a “nice” day!

Abundant blessings;

02
Feb
21

Should we be nice?

Today, while taking the dogs for a walk in the park, I saw a hand-painted sign leaning against a fence. It was big… probably four feet high and six feet wide. Every letter on the sign was painted a different color, and it said:

“BE KIND.”

As the dogs and I finished our walk, I looked at the minivan across the parking lot and saw a message there in white letters across the back window. It said:

“I HOPE SOMETHING GOOD HAPPENS TO YOU TODAY.”

“Wow!” I thought to myself. “How cool is THAT! I go out and find myself surrounded by positive, uplifting messages. With everything going on in the world today, those people have decided they are going to be positivity evangelists!”

“Well done, y’all!” (In case you are not aware, “y’all” is the plural of “you” in many parts of the country.)

There was nothing complicated about either message. They weren’t inviting me to join a club. They weren’t trying to sell me on a complex doctrine. They didn’t want me to give them a percentage of my income every month. They didn’t have a sneaky pyramid scheme that required me to enlist friends and family members. 

They were just putting the good juju out there in the atmosphere, hoping it connected with someone.

And then I had to stop and wonder, “Why can’t the Christian faith be simple and straightforward like that? Why do we have to muddy it up with all those convoluted theological dogmas and ‘rules of engagement’? Don’t we want to entice people and not repel them?”

“I mean, couldn’t Christians just say we are part of the ‘BE KIND CLUB’ and let it go at that?” 

For a lot of folks, it seems like a pretty big leap to say they believe in a deity who became a human being, died, and then came back from the dead three days later. But it is not hard at all to encourage them to say, “I believe in being kind to other people.”

So, what’s the problem? Why are we (Christians) so hung up on whether someone speaks the exact “phrase that pays” instead of just worrying about what they DO?

In the interest of full disclosure, I will confess that I am trolling you here a bit. I actually DO believe that confessing Jesus Christ as the Lord and Savior of one’s life DOES make a qualitative difference in that life. I also believe that a person’s actions and words are much more important than their professed systems of belief… even though those actions and words flow directly FROM those systems of belief. And I ABSOLUTELY believe that there is much more to the Christian faith than just being kind to other people.

In fact, would it surprise you to hear me say that I don’t believe that the Christian faith has much at all to do with being nice to people?

Loving them? Yes. Absolutely. Unconditionally, even. But as Jesus demonstrated over and over again, LOVING another person doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with BEING NICE to them.

Jesus gave a very succinct summary of his mission on earth in John’s gospel when he said, “… I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” (John 10:10, NRSV). 

In other words, he came to revive relationships, break cycles of addiction, lift up the downtrodden, snap chains of injustice, bring hope, infuse possibility. In short, he came break down every barrier that separates people from the abundant life God always intended for them (us). 

If being kind, gentle, and sweet to a person helped connect them with that “abundant life,” so be it! Jesus would be like, “Bring on the kind, gentle, and sweet.” If, on the other hand, bringing about abundant life meant employing the proverbial “swift kick in the pants” approach, he would not hesitate to administer that.

So yes, let’s redouble our efforts. Let’s offer a smile to a total stranger on the sidewalk. Let’s make eye contact and give a kind word to the cashier at the convenience store. Let’s pay for the person behind us in the McDonald’s drive-through. Let’s call someone on the phone, “just because…”

But let’s also join Team Jesus and help bring the abundant life he was after. 

Abundant blessings;

18
May
20

Best Foot Forward

“You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar…  you are familiar with all my ways.”
Psalm 139:1-3, NRSV

Chatting over the fenceI had a nice backyard chat with Neighbor Dave the other day. It was my first time to meet Neighbor Dave since we moved here in November.

Don’t worry… Neighbor Dave stayed on his side of the fence and I stayed on mine. We were at least six feet apart the entire time we chatted.

As it turns out, Neighbor Dave (can I just call him Dave from now on? Thanks) just moved here to Fort Collins a month before we did. He and his wife came from California.

Like Joan and me, Dave and his wife are recently retired.

It was a lovely chat. Dave and I each talked about the little projects we are doing on our houses, the things we like about the area, our families, and our sheer delight at the nice, warm weather that was allowing us to get some much-needed yard work done.

When I finally broke it off with my new best buddy, I went inside and told Joan about the great neighbor I had just met and how cool it was that he lived just across our back fence. I probably even said something like, “When all this is over, we’ll have to have Dave and his wife over for dinner.”

And because I had my best foot forward and avoided picking my nose for the ENTIRE time we talked, I am sure Dave went inside and said something very similar to his wife.

That is one reason I like being “the new kid in town.” Every relationship is new. Every person you meet starts out thinking the very best of you. The only thing they know about you is the friendly neighbor face you were holding up as you talked.

They know nothing about all your little quirks and idiosyncrasies… your phobias, fears, prejudices, and flaws. Your bad habits and neuroses and weird notions are utterly invisible to them.

You walk away from your chat, shaking your head and thinking – as I often do, “If they only knew…”

And then – if you happened to think back on the words of Psalm 139 at that precise moment – you recalled that God DOES know all that stuff about you. God knows all the dirt and grime about you there is to know.

In fact – God being God and all – God probably knows stuff about you that you have somehow managed to forget.

God knows it all; the Good… the Bad… and the truly Ugly.

And yet… even with all that super-detailed knowledge… God loves you more than you can possibly understand.

Here is the really shocking news: God’s regard for you is even HIGHER than your high regard for Neighbor Dave. It is that high for two very good reasons:

  • First, because God – through his Son Jesus – has wiped your entire slate of screw-ups clean, and
  • Second, because God knows – far better than you do – what you are truly capable of.

Is that cool or WHAT!

The challenge for most of us is to be able to humbly receive God’s magnificent, unconditional love and then to go out and actually live INTO the lofty vision God has of us.

It is entirely possible that the better Neighbor Dave gets to know me, the less enthused he will be about deepening our relationship.

But Praise God that will never be true about HIM!

 

Abundant blessings;




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