Here it is, year 3.5 and I am still not sure I have this thing figured out.
The “thing” to which I refer is, of course, retirement.
OK. I’m not dumb. I know what the word itself means… even without consulting the Oxford American Dictionary. (Which, by the way, defines retirement as, “… the action or fact of leaving one’s job and ceasing to work.”)
It is more the case that I am not sure what retirement means for ME.
I can describe all the negative elements of retirement pretty well. It means I no longer have a bi-weekly paycheck. It means I am no longer governed by a prescribed set of daily duties and obligations. It means I no longer have a staff to supervise, mediate with, counsel, encourage, play with, or evaluate. It means I no longer have a set of overlords demanding a regular accounting of my efforts.
It also means I am no longer restricted to evenings and weekends for doing my grocery shopping, movie watching, lawn mowing, or television viewing.
As I said, the “no longers” are the easy questions to answer. I’m pretty clear about the things retirement has put to an end.
Where I struggle is to accurately name what is now BEGINNING here in my new retired status.
In a very real sense, this feels like a revisiting of the LIFE’S PURPOSE question I spent so much time grappling with in my youth.
In today’s world, where many of us are making the change from receiving a paycheck to receiving pension and/or social security payments, I suspect I am not the only one asking this question. Thanks to improved healthcare, exercise, and better diets, many of us old farts still have lots of vim and vigor in us as we exit the workforce. Our minds are clear and need to stay active. Our hearts still beat with abundant energy. Our knees, hips, and elbows creak, groan, and ache a little more, but we can still get around (somewhat) with those young punks.
We are not at all ready to be put out to pasture. And since some of us (speaking for myself only) absolutely DESPISE the game of golf, it means we enter this time ready to shift gears and explore new byways rather than pulling off into a permanent REST AREA by the side of life’s road.
I certainly don’t lack for things to do. Now that I am back at it, writing this blog is one of those things. I volunteer at three different places. I am spending more time with my guitar and now – thanks to a lovely Christmas gift from Joan – am trying to learn the harmonica, too. Traveling has picked up significantly in retirement. In fact, I am writing you now from a lovely VRBO condo in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico (From where, later today, we will be heading up the Baja coast to the picturesque seaside town of Todos Santos.)
I’d love to spend more time with the grandkids, but we are a nine-hour drive away from three of them and a 16-hour drive away from the other five. (Our fault entirely, by the way. We are the ones who chose to move to Colorado).
No. Filling the hours of each day is not my concern. The question I continue to wrestle with is the musical question Dionne Warwick sang to Michael Caine when she crooned, “What’s it all about, Alfie?”
And unfortunately (or more accurately, fortunately), I know my bible. I know God can continue to use people looooong after they have qualified for AARP membership.
Case in point: Abraham. Case in point: Moses. Case in point: Noah. Case in point: many, many others throughout the Old and New Testaments. I have read enough of these stories to know that I am not done until God says I am done.
Despite all the angst on display here, I’ll admit it; I am really enjoying this new chapter. I enjoy the lack of deadlines, the senior discounts, the mid-day naps, the mall walks, the mis-matched clothes, the matinee movies, and the occasional Sunday sleep-ins.
Against that cultural backdrop, it is my sincere prayer that I might realize the promise God made to the righteous ones of King David’s time when he spoke through the psalmist and described them this way, “They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green…” (Psalm 92:14, NRSVU)
Abundant blessings;