Posts Tagged ‘writing

08
May
23

Did You Miss Me?

As the kids say, “It’s been a minute.”

In my case, it’s been a minute (or two) since I last sat and did any kind of communicating via this blog. 

Actually, I am pretty certain you didn’t miss me. But I REALLY missed you! That is to say, I missed the discipline of regularly trying to quiet myself, listen to the promptings of the Spirit, and faithfully render those nudges into a coherent sentence or two under the banner of Russellings of the Spirit.

In my defense, April was bonkers. 

To say the least.

Very early in the month, Joan had major surgery that involved fusing a couple of vertebrae and removing a pesky lamina or two (a procedure which, in medical terminology is called a laminectomy. You should Google it. The pictures are pretty cool). It was a six-hour surgery and required that she spend three overnights in the hospital. 

Joan is home now, but must wear a rigid back brace for three months. And THEN the physical therapy can begin. So needless to say, April required a lot of caregiving by me while she recovered.

She is doing better every day, praise God. She still must walk with a cane and is a little wobbly on her feet. Nevertheless, every day brings a little more strength and a little more stability. A great medical team and LOTS of prayers are key reasons why.

And then there was the show. 

Way back in the first week of January, I auditioned to be included in the Loveland Choral Society (whose website you can find here) for a show called, SMILE! It’s the 70s! It was a two-hour musical revue of tunes from the greatest musical decade EVER (think Queen, The Eagles, James Taylor, ABBA, Heart, Linda Ronstadt, Neil Diamond, Deep Purple, Bill Withers, etc., etc.), complete with costumes, a live band and CHOREOGRAPHY!

It was four months of 2.5-hour rehearsals every week, culminating with rehearsals every night of show week (a.k.a. HELL week), April 24-30. It was a ton of fun that culminated with four sold-out shows at the Rialto Theater in downtown Loveland, Colorado. I wouldn’t have missed it for the world, but it used up just about all my spare time and energy.

Reading through the above, it sounds like I am either bragging or complaining… or maybe a little of both. Instead, I am trying to explain – both to you and to myself – why I haven’t written a blog post in a very, very long time. 

I am also confessing to no small amount of surprise at the rather gaping nature of the hole in my life that appeared as a result of this hiatus. 

It very well may be that this exercise – which my youngest brother fondly referred to as “… shouting into the abyss” – amounts to a whole lot of wasted time and energy. Or in the words of the immortal bard, “Much ado about nothing.” 

And in the grand scheme of literary significance, that is probably an accurate description.

I think what I am trying to say – in the long, rambling, clumsy, roundabout way I do – is that regardless of what you may think of it, this forum matters to me. 

A LOT.

During this enforced lull, I discovered that writing this blog matters to me mostly as a spiritual discipline. It has become a time of enforced solitary reflection and prayer. Every Russelling is generally preceded by listening, attuning, reflection, processing, and criticism. It is a time when I try to mimic the words and the heart of the young prophet Samuel, saying, “Speak, Lord. Your servant is listening.” (1 Samuel 3:10, NRSV).

And – if I’m being totally honest with you – it is also a time to slip in a humble brag or two about our latest Adventures in Retirement.

I hope I am now past the pressing whirlwind of the last month and back into a readin’, ‘ritin’, reflectin’ rhythm once more. As soon as I say that though, I know I am in danger of challenging God to come up with some new twist or turn that will test my discipline.

In the meantime, I am glad to connect with you again and resume this amazing merry-go-round we call life. 

Let’s stay in touch.

Abundant blessings;

19
Jul
18

Unedited You

Writing is hard.

WritingWriting well is harder. (Or should that be “Writing good…”?)

Yet, in spite of all the hurdles and pitfalls involved, I would much rather write than talk.

The problem with talking is that it is so… INSTANT. A situation arises… words are called for… they spill out of your mouth in some kind of order… and then all sorts of conclusions and assumptions begin congealing around them.

There was that time – for example – when I decided to break the ice with a complete stranger over the cold cut tray at a friend’s Christmas party. “So…” my chatty banter began, “Are you one of Fred’s neighbors who are part of the effort to fight that nasty development the ABC Real Estate Company is planning for the neighborhood?”

“Well, no,” the stranger replied… very deliberately. “I am actually on the board of directors of the ABC Real Estate Company.”

Or then there was that other time when a 50ish couple was leaving the worship service with an uber-cute six-or-seven-year-old boy in tow. I had not recalled seeing them before, so to make a little friendly conversation as hands were being shaken I smiled and said, “Oh! Is this your grandson you’ve brought with you to church today!”

Their smiles suddenly faded, replaced by a now frosty façade as the man replied, “No. This is our SON.”

Strangely I don’t think we saw them too many times in church after that.

But when I am here at my keyboard, I enjoy an INFINITE number of chances to start… stop… correct… erase… edit… and perfect my words before they ever cross your radar screen. If something looks even the slightest bit askew, POOF! Away it goes into the electronic ether.

When I write, I can look back and notice that I have used the word AMAZING five times in a row. Then I can simply mouse over at least two “amazings”, right click to pull up the thesaurus function and replace them with “startling” and “remarkable” and end up sounding a little less dull and unimaginative than I really am.

Writing takes a lot more work than talking, to be sure. But I really prefer presenting the world with EDITED Russell vs. UNEDITED, raw Russell.

EDITED Russell is smooth and articulate. He uses the right word at the right time. His conversation is sprinkled with texture, nuance, and wit. Heck, he can even be called borderline witty and wise now and then.

UNEDITED Russell can be downright clumsy. He hesitates… uses the wrong word at the wrong time… offends people – always unintentionally, of course. He often lets emotions rather than cool, thorough thoughtfulness shape his words. In the right situation, he has even been known to let a profanity escape his lips.

People find edited Russell likable… but they admit unedited Russell can often be more than a little annoying.

All of which makes God and God’s assessment system a marvel that most of us will never even come close to wrapping our minds around.

That’s because – as I read the words of scripture – God not only LOVES unedited Russell, and (insert your name here…) – God actually PREFERS the unedited version of each of us. God’s emissary, Paul of Tarsus, tells his church in Rome, “For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.”(Romans 5:6, NRSV).

King David was a big advocate of coming to God with one’s complete, unvarnished, unedited self and just laying it out there in its most raw form. At the time of one of his deepest funks, he wrote, “The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.”(Psalm 51:17, NRSV).

And apparently, God doesn’t want us to edit ourselves OR our prayers. That’s why there is such a thing as the Holy Spirit. Romans 8:26 reminds us, “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words.”

So I’m sure I will probably continue to edit my writing. I will make every attempt to edit my speaking, thinking, and acting… especially when you and I are together.

But let’s just all take this moment to rejoice at the reminder that God’s nature is to open his arms wide and give a big ol’ godly bear hug to the real, unedited YOU.

20
Nov
17

Manna?

MannaIt can be an adventure.

It can be intimidating.

It can be nothing at all.

It can be a deep dive into a Disney-esque landscape of color, shape, sound, texture, and emotion.

It can be a tedious plod through unrelenting bleakness.

It can fill you with fear.

It can excite you.

It can evoke an aching tenderness you’ve never felt before.

It can pry open secret, sealed chambers you didn’t even know were there… and then explore every nook and cranny of them.

It can be a tonic.

It can be a torment.

It can be as dull as chalk… or as rich as chocolate.

It can save your life.

It can imprison you forever.

It is tightly confined.

It is expansive and unlimited.

It welcomes all who approach and treats every suitor equally.

Once you have ventured inside, it is yours… FOREVER.

Of course, I am referring to…

.

.

.

 

THE BLANK PAGE.




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