24
May
13

What I deserve

DESERVE. What does that word mean to you? I had two encounters with it in close succession last week that set me to pondering.

            The first was while I was waiting on hold with my trash pick-up company. I was calling (again) to complain, er, I mean, OBSERVE, that they had not picked up my yard waste bags. The recorded voice reassured me by saying, “Please stay on the line and our customer service specialist will be right with you to give your call the attention it DESERVES.” I remember thinking, “I hope their definition of the attention I deserve is the same as mine”

            Then, just a day later, I sent a congratulatory email to my son as he started his new job. In the body of the message I used the phrase, “You deserve great things.”

            I thought, “Hmmm. There’s that word again. What does that mean anyway?”

            What are we saying when we say we deserve something? Obviously we feel we are ENTITLED somehow to something, whether it be great customer service, to a wonderful job, to clean air, to democracy, to be loved, to have beautiful and compliant children, or whatever else we might come up with.

            But do we? Do we really deserve those things? Or do we DESIRE them and then somehow come to treat our desires as entitlements?

             The more I think about it, the more I find the question of what you and I actually deserve from life to be a surprisingly difficult one to answer. In the first instance can any of us really say we deserve ANYTHING? Life itself came to us as a gift. Parents who did not immediately take us to the river and throw us in were a gift. Today I am sharply aware of just how huge is the gift of an intact roof over my head.

            And just between you and me, I am not sure I actually DESERVED any of those gifts.

            Looking back on the people I have known in my life, I can safely say that those who have been the angriest, the most distressed, and most out of sorts with the world, in general, were those who carry with them a LONG list of “things I deserve.”

            Because you see, when you feel that you DESERVE a thing and you do not receive it, you feel cheated. Inevitably those folks look around at other people who have that thing – many of whom are much less skilled, talented and deserving – and feel there is something tragically flawed about the world’s BDS… Benefit Distribution System.

And so they get angry.

It is a whole different conversation when I am considering what YOU deserve to receive from ME. I feel that you deserve my full attention, you deserve my very best effort to fulfill the commitments I have made to you… you deserve love, respect, honor, and hospitality. Those I can control. What you decide to extend to me… not so much.

OK, so I guess this was not such a short meditation after all. But then again I felt that you DESERVED a fuller development of the basic thought… so there you go! The bottom line is this: the more we think we deserve from life, the less we view life as a gift. And the less we see life – everything in life – as a gift from God, the less joy we experience.

As we are reminded in James 1:17 – “…every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.”


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