A local remodeling contractor came over to our house on Saturday. My sweet, visionary wife has this notion of flipping the locations of our current kitchen and dining room so that each of them would end up in the space formerly occupied by the other one.
You know… to help the overall space and flow and stuff like that.
“Would that be hard to do?” I asked him… hoping, of course, that his answer would be, “Oh my gosh! Are you kidding me? It would be IMPOSSIBLE!”
However, to my great disappointment, he just smiled and said, “You know, when I was first starting out in this business, I worked for a crusty old guy whose motto was, ‘Everything is hard.’”
I know what he means. And I don’t think he was just talking about things in the remodeling business either.
These days it certainly seems as if everything is hard, doesn’t it? At least everything that is worthwhile.
For example; it is hard to stay healthy (especially at my advanced age).
It was hard to sell our house. It was hard to find a new house. Downsizing and moving into our new house was hard.
Parenting is hard. (Grandparenting, in contrast to everything else on this list, is pretty easy and delightful).
Playing a musical instrument is hard. Calculus is hard. Living with cancer is hard.
Grocery shopping is hard. Growing your own (or killing your own) food is hard. Or so I’m told…
Driving in the snow is hard. Finding a good house-and-dog sitter is hard.
Writing a book is REALLY hard! Deciding who to vote for for president is HARD.
I could go on and on like this, but I think you get the drift.
But then sometimes I stop and wonder; is all of this stuff really HARD? Or did I somehow start with the warped idea that it wouldn’t be hard? Was I sold a bill of goods somewhere along the way that said, “Don’t worry about it, kid. Life will be a piece of cake.”?
Most parents hate to see their children struggle. We want to cut their meat into small, bite-sized pieces for them so they won’t get frustrated and starve to death. In the same way, we want them to experience the joy of making music, but bristle at the notion that they might have to sit there practicing scales over and over and over.
I wonder if some of us are guilty of subconsciously telling our kids that if a thing is hard, it is to be avoided?
At the risk of sounding old and curmudgeonly, I will add that I am not sure our current culture is helping turn the corner on this “softening effect” at all. YouTube, Instagram, TickTock and other social media platforms offer folks the ability to become instantly (comparatively) famous without expending much actual effort in doing so.
Of course, just because something is hard to do doesn’t automatically make it virtuous. By the same token, just because it is easy shouldn’t make it automatically desirable.
In general, it is probably better to expect that the road ahead will be difficult and then be pleasantly surprised by smooth stretches than to expect a cakewalk and be angry when we hit snags, roadblocks, and detours.
Whatever the nature of the path you are facing today, here is an enduring truth I invite you to take hold of. It is guaranteed to get you through just about any stretch of rough terrain you will face:
“Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will hardship, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.”(Romans 8:35,37, NRSV)
Abundant blessings;
Yep. There’s a whole lot of hard in life. I tell my son all the time. One has to learn to push through it–and in some things, it doesn’t get easier. But…”we are more than conquerors.” Amen.
Insightful piece! Thanks for sharing it.
I have a poetry writing friend who said that a friend of hers had decided to quit writing poems, because it was too hard. That’s part of the pleasure of it, to find the language, images, metaphors that work and find your hard way to the last line or two that makes it all worthwhile, because it WORKS and you get a big YYYeeesss out of it when that blank page now holds a treasure that you created and want to share. wlm
She’s right. Poetry IS hard. That is probably also why it is beautiful.