Any fans of the TV show “FRIENDS” out there? Millions of us tuned in every week between 1994 and 2004 to watch the antics of Ross, Chandler, Rachel, Phoebe, Monica, Joey and their madcap, interwoven lives. 

I was not a HUGE fan, but I will confess to watching and laughing more than once. Or twice. The thing that attracted me most about the show was the picture it painted of young adult friendships. Despite the rigors of busy professional lives, these apartment neighbors somehow managed to spend a lot of time together, sharing laughs, drinks, pets, and other things. Sometimes sharing one another.

“How cool!” I would say to myself. “EVERYBODY should have a group of friends like that to hang around with. It might not have to include a neighbor with a pet Capuchin monkey named Marcel, but you never know…”

Like the wise man once said, friendships are the best ships. Loneliness, they tell us, is the new cancer.

Or maybe they said, “Social connections are the new miracle drug that cures cancer.”

Whichever. The point “they” are making is this: it is good to have friends. And hanging out with those friends regularly is even better.

OK. Cool. I’m in. As a guy hard-wired for extroversion, I am happy to sign up for anything that connects me with other people… preferably in a lively, buoyant environment where we can kibbitz and kvetch to our heart’s delight(s).

What this all-knowing “they” did not include in their research findings was one, important caveat: making and maintaining friendships involves WORK! You have to work to make the friends in the first place.. And you have to work to keep those friendships alive and fresh.

Sometimes, having (and being) friends can be downright exhausting. Especially at my tender young age. It isn’t like the days when I was nine years old. Back then I made friends by walking up to someone’s door and saying, “Can Simon come out to play?” 

Today, schedules must be coordinated, political preferences verified, disposable income levels checked, and religious leanings accounted for. We ask, “Are they younger? Older? Broncos fans? Theater lovers? Do they like to camp? Hate the outdoors? Have grandkids? Hike? Canoe? Play softball?”

Sometimes it feels like it is not even worth the effort.

Except when it is. 

Last week, Carol died. Carol was a member of the softball team I manage. And when I say “member,” I mean she came to every game with her Golden Retriever Kismet, occasionally coached first base and cheered us on through thick and thin.

Carol was a 73-year-old, never married woman who volunteered at the local library and religiously attended theater productions here in Fort Collins and in Denver. She had very few family members around and ultimately came to regard members of the Battitudes team as her de facto family.

When Carol went into the hospital three weeks ago for treatment of a routine infection, her friends became her source of comfort and support. Someone was there with her every day… talking to her, holding her hand, joking with her, interpreting the doctor’s advice, and guiding her through the twists and turns of her last journey. When Carol finally died, her friend Traci was the one who immediately went to work, making all Carol’s final arrangements.

At some point, we are each invited to recognize the eternal purpose of the people we show up with in this life. At first, they may appear to be here either to amuse us, employ us, serve us, encourage us, or guide us. In fact, they are here to CONNECT us. Friends connect us to a larger, wider reality. They connect us to our own hearts. They connect us to the mystery, depth, and greatness of the universe. They connect us to God. 

Yes. Life can be lived without friends. But it is not the way we were wired to live. 

I was meant for you. And you were meant for me.

Abundant blessings;